Friday, July 13, 2012

Day 6: Write a Personal Mission Statement

What is it about these statements that always makes me feel like a fraud? I try to see around them, to word them another way, to give myself an out in case I don't live up to what I've written down.... but I guess that would defeat the purpose. This new formula says Values + Values in Action = Personal Mission Statement.

Okay, so I kind of have my idea of what the short-term should be, but I always get flustered with the long-term.... how long into the future is long-term? In five years, evern if I want to own my own home and have paid off my credit card bill, does that mean I would have found the job that facilitates that goal? Am I just a perpetual nay-sayer of my own desires in life? Sometimes these questions really paralyze me into non-action! I just don't know which pile to start sorting out, where to start organizing. Should I start and stop or methodically do one thing then move on the the next after its completed? Multitasking is such a load of perfectionist tripe!

Like, how am I supposed to back out of a dead-end job that is my only meager source of income presently, turn my back on the dues for a new organization I got myself inducted into without really understanding the ramifications of, in an industry I don't see myself embracing? Do I have to run with every lead to see where it goes? Can't I just back away slowly from this?? Everyone always says, "well, you never know what connections you will make, blah blah, blah", all I have is a new bill in the mail I can't afford from an Institute that seems to have money-based events, no real help for me in my lowly low-level version of what their industry represents. I'm not even sure I'm living up to my swearing-in pledge when I'm at work!

Breathe....

My Mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find a way to marry my travel and learning interests with teaching and doing. That sounds vague... I strongly believe that education is a force to be reckoned with anywhere in the world, in this country. I don't necessarily know if I am cut out to be one of those selfless angel teachers, but I would like to think that I still have something to offer. I love languages, learning about, interpreting, translating, relaying meaning to others, bridging the foreign with the familiar. I want to be more comfortable with connecting the dots for people, for myself. There are many types of language; legal, academic, political, artistic. I will find one (or more than one) avenue to teach, to navigate and interpret for others.

I am on a mission to find a fulfilling work/life balance, where I can learn to be an interpreter for various languages in fields that uplift, inform and facilitate learning and positive action. I want to be able to be creative and innovative in my work, to the point where it's not even a job any more but something I can identify with. I can't identify with what I do to earn money presently. Administrative may sound safe, but its also binding in its capacity for innovation. I want a box that I can cut out a corner, or fold back and expand with my own wall, or better yet, my own window. I want to brainstorm with people that are ready to go out there and put theory to practice, or at least in the beginning, apprentice with such people that bring a lightness to one's frame of reference. I need to get out from under my debt, and I must challenge my level of comfort to find ways to do that. If I fear teaching to repay debt, I must find out why, and maybe find another way that isn't so jarring to my sense of accomplishment. I will focus on what I can do, what projects I will get involved in and see to the end, not be afraid of what seems to big, to emotionally expensive. I will search for a mentor, and in my search, find myself becoming a mentor.

I will not give up. Day 6: Personal Mission Statement

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