Oscuridad... La noche

La notte e silenziosa e nel suo silenzio si nascondono i sogni- Italiano

La noche es callada y en su silencio se ocultan los suenos- Espanol

La nuit est silencieuse et dans son silence se cachent les reves.- Francais

Die Nacht ist stillund ih ihrer Stille verbergen sich die Traume- Deutsche

The night is silent, and in its silence, dreams are hidden.

Kahlil Gibran

In Spanish, the verb ocultar is defined, "to hide; to conceal from". It also includes to keep from, as in dishonesty by omission; to keep back what ought to be said; to cloak; to disguise;

Shrouded in mystery... se me oculta la razon (the reason is a mystery to me)

Why does this word fascinate me right now?

To tell the truth, I came upon it a couple days ago when I passionately undressed a Baci Perugina Dark Chocolate Hazelnut wrapper. This particular chocolate always has a delicate yet profound message underneath the foil in five languages. Kind of like a Chinese fortune cookie, but more contemplative.

Since I am a fan of Kahlil Gibran's writings, it was refreshing to see the quotation, and even more entertaining to test my language translation skills.

The funniest coincidence is that this was the second day after the General Petraeus Affair Debacle surfaced in the media, so I was treated with a direct true-to-life application of this ancient observation and its many off-shoots.

Petraeus' name, once probably held in high esteem among many, is now being summarily dragged through the mud from not only his own public admission and resignation, but also in the inevitable fallout as it continues to unfold. I can't help but feel the sad irony of the whole thing, where national security concerns have to be brought into play aside the current occupational impropriety.

So... how to maintain political transparency in such an explosive climate? Only time will tell.

Emeli Sande had a few lines on a similar subject...

Easier In Bed lyrics
I'm feeling like a hole in your head
Like the last thing in the world that you need
Time to go but we hold on instead
Close our eyes and we make believe

It's hard, hard to fake it baby
Hard to endure it baby
This don't feel like love anymore
Hard, hard to take it baby
Hard, hard to face it baby
It's getting harder to ignore

But it's easier in bed
Easier in bed
At night-time we pretend
Cos it's easier in bed

Day 6: Write a Personal Mission Statement

What is it about these statements that always makes me feel like a fraud? I try to see around them, to word them another way, to give myself an out in case I don't live up to what I've written down.... but I guess that would defeat the purpose. This new formula says Values + Values in Action = Personal Mission Statement.

Okay, so I kind of have my idea of what the short-term should be, but I always get flustered with the long-term.... how long into the future is long-term? In five years, evern if I want to own my own home and have paid off my credit card bill, does that mean I would have found the job that facilitates that goal? Am I just a perpetual nay-sayer of my own desires in life? Sometimes these questions really paralyze me into non-action! I just don't know which pile to start sorting out, where to start organizing. Should I start and stop or methodically do one thing then move on the the next after its completed? Multitasking is such a load of perfectionist tripe!

Like, how am I supposed to back out of a dead-end job that is my only meager source of income presently, turn my back on the dues for a new organization I got myself inducted into without really understanding the ramifications of, in an industry I don't see myself embracing? Do I have to run with every lead to see where it goes? Can't I just back away slowly from this?? Everyone always says, "well, you never know what connections you will make, blah blah, blah", all I have is a new bill in the mail I can't afford from an Institute that seems to have money-based events, no real help for me in my lowly low-level version of what their industry represents. I'm not even sure I'm living up to my swearing-in pledge when I'm at work!

Breathe....

My Mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find a way to marry my travel and learning interests with teaching and doing. That sounds vague... I strongly believe that education is a force to be reckoned with anywhere in the world, in this country. I don't necessarily know if I am cut out to be one of those selfless angel teachers, but I would like to think that I still have something to offer. I love languages, learning about, interpreting, translating, relaying meaning to others, bridging the foreign with the familiar. I want to be more comfortable with connecting the dots for people, for myself. There are many types of language; legal, academic, political, artistic. I will find one (or more than one) avenue to teach, to navigate and interpret for others.

I am on a mission to find a fulfilling work/life balance, where I can learn to be an interpreter for various languages in fields that uplift, inform and facilitate learning and positive action. I want to be able to be creative and innovative in my work, to the point where it's not even a job any more but something I can identify with. I can't identify with what I do to earn money presently. Administrative may sound safe, but its also binding in its capacity for innovation. I want a box that I can cut out a corner, or fold back and expand with my own wall, or better yet, my own window. I want to brainstorm with people that are ready to go out there and put theory to practice, or at least in the beginning, apprentice with such people that bring a lightness to one's frame of reference. I need to get out from under my debt, and I must challenge my level of comfort to find ways to do that. If I fear teaching to repay debt, I must find out why, and maybe find another way that isn't so jarring to my sense of accomplishment. I will focus on what I can do, what projects I will get involved in and see to the end, not be afraid of what seems to big, to emotionally expensive. I will search for a mentor, and in my search, find myself becoming a mentor.

I will not give up. Day 6: Personal Mission Statement