Where is it safe to be homeless? Reflection piece

I did this one kind of different. Just testing out reverse posting via Instagram, where I've written at length about my observations and thoughts.

Homelessness has a different face, feeling and impact on the survivor and the observant public, wherever you go in this world.

The gist is that privilege can be and is layered, and diverse.  The crux of such privilege is having access, and it is as much what as whom you know.

Read more at my instagram page.

Swaitespot 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BiKw_I0H1rK/

Riding the Metal Horse: When to Cede Territory... and Why Not

This is the last full workday before Summer officially starts (at 6:34 p.m.). In New York City, every seasoned traveler and resident knows that as soon as the temperature climbs past 75 degrees consistently, all the ignorance and "lawlessness" exponentially increases. This will happen on your block, in your apartment building, on the subway platforms, and very likely in the trains and buses we all have to ride to get around. That is a lot of extra pressure and exposure to potential trauma and anxiety as an often Lone Woman Traveler.

I don't do Public Service Announcements (PSAs) often on my blog. They find themselves here incidentally, and usually for good reason. My fifth blog post ever during the Summer of 2011 could be considered a PSA, on a similar topic: public harassment. Imagine the irony of deciding to dress somewhat revealingly; getting on a bus AND train for an hour and a half to participate in a celebration of summer, weirdness, creativity, pride and magic with other like-minded people one day- with no fear or trepidation of the public- then having to experience a degrading and isolating incident using the same transportation system 24 hours later, fully dressed, with witnesses that did nothing?!

Let me be clear, this post is not aimed at the people who did not speak up or intervene or my or my fellow black female passengers' behalf. The fact that no one did anything does help to illustrate the event that took place, however. The main message (or moral) of this story is the importance of being aware, resilient, and proactive in order to have the best possible agency in how we interact with our environment. None of us can control every aspect of our days, and we certainly cannot hope to always control and police others.

As much as I want to believe that law enforcement is present and willing to serve and protect all of its citizens, they are often spread thin, and their priorities do not line up with mine. Autonomy and agency are real, however, and one of the benefits of Social Media is the agency it gives everyday citizens to be responsible, be decent, be advocates for themselves as well as fellow strangers, in real time or faster than the systems in place provide.

Word-for-word, here goes...

On Sunday, June 19, 2016 approximately 3:15 p.m.: 

I don't normally cuss on my own timeline. But shit just got really real thirty minutes ago. I am on the A train heading north from Brooklyn. There is a moderate amount of people on the train, and I am sitting in the corner next to a door in a 3-seater. 

I have my headphones in and my shades on. But I can hear enough to know that there is a man with a booming voice panhandling and making his way through the semi-crowded train to the end where I am. Nbd. But when he gets to the last set of doors where I am, he stops and mumbles loudly, the decides to stand at the pole less than three feet from me, and start fondling his junk. He has a smell that is not powerful enough to make me leave, but enough to concern me about his sobriety. Not swaying or raving, mostly quiet, except for this pronounced personal hand job. 

He leans back against the doors across from me and stares hard in my direction, where three other black women are sitting, one black man with his sleeping son, and another man. I have been fanning myself and looking just past his probing eyes for the past ten minutes of this, even though my insides are starting to shake. 

Then he decides to sit down directly across from me. Nbd. Maybe he's done showing off and is gonna be civil. He then tries to engage the woman sitting in the 3-seater two seats down from him, his manspreading so pronounced that no one would be encouraged to sit between them. She has her headphones on, and closes her eyes, but every few seconds, she opens them again and sneaks a side eye to her right, where his eyes meet her every time he's not staring one of us down. Then he starts licking his lips really slow. 

And when the train stops, he gets up and walks over to the other two women seated next to me and swings his arms right inches from their faces. I know he's trying to engage them by asking for money. I hear no response back, so I believe they just shook their heads. 

The tension was painful. I was starting to hyperventilate quietly, which is humanly impossible when you are holding your breath. 

I could have gotten up and moved to another place, and after he finally left, the other women and I commiserated about thinking the exact same thing. We would have signaled each other to move as one unit. Even calling out to our newfound "girlfriend", so as to not leave anyone behind. My hands shake as I write this because the reality of how we were all feeling the same chill on our skin, the same adrenaline rush when he got off the train, but STAYED ON THE PLATFORM as train delays stalled us... 

The doors closed. He was saying, "... I was just kidding you're so beautiful" and I can see him. SEE HIM finishing off what he started in his pants when he was on the train. 

Now he's pressed up against the glass. Staring at us, and this damn train will not leave. I started praying that the door would not reopen for an approaching train.... 

THIS is when thoughts go through ones head about that knife someone suggested I carry. 

THIS is when I reevaluate the relevance of my outfit, the time of day (3:19pm), the relative crowd (mostly non-black, except for our "happy little corner", and realize that it didn't matter. If this 6'9" 270lb man wanted to snatch that woman by her hair, it could have happened in an instant, even as we all unfroze ourselves and tried to vacate the area. 

It was not (yesterday's) Mermaid Parade, everyone had their clothes on. 

Other MEN were sitting diagonally across and laughed at his antics until he started masturbating, then they got quiet and looked away. IT DID NOT MATTER. I should not have to fear for myself nor my fellow female passengers on the train. I should not have to breathe slowly to stop what I feel is tachycardia and miss an event I'm looking forward to because I have to process what ‪#‎dafuq‬ just happened, but here I am. 

I'm replaying thoughts of violence, what he might have done next, what I, or we would have done. A sisterhood did form then. I got one of their numbers, and we are both sharing this on social media. It just reminds me again about being vigilant, alert, considerate, and willing to take someone with me to safety, or so help me, out as I'm going down. *EndRant ‪#‎subway‬ ‪#‎assault‬ ‪#‎liftup‬ ‪#‎seldom_settled‬

Street harassment is real and should not be tolerated. Public transit harassment is real and should not be tolerated. Sometimes getting up and walking away is not the solution. Wearing more clothes is not always the remedy or prevention that saves individuals or groups of women from attacks in public.

I'm not saying we should all try to be the hero and fall on swords to vanquish on behalf of ladies in distress. But we can be a Shero (as I align myself with this gender-inclusive definition), and not leave any woman to fend for herself whilst she decides to autonomously stand her ground and claim her rightful space. Stand up, or sit down. Do not cede territory.

There is strength in numbers, there is safety when more eyes are watching, but also when more hands are willing and able, when voices are raised in a common sense of decency and support. When the mindsets are aligned, quietly, but with enough will that lends a palpable resistance to the tension when riding the Metal Horse. A Lone Woman need not always feel Alone. #facts

P.S.: This is MY space, so no, you will not see the picture that I took of the offending party here. But rest assured, the police will. #hollaback will.

Toughening Up: Women In Travel and The Gear that Loves Them!

So the March Madness has shifted into the Spring Awakening, as I continue my development into the savvy go-getter activity-prone woman I always wanted to be. I would be remiss, however, to not fill in the gap of the last two months, busy as I have been with conferences, day trips, event planning and new business research. It has truly been an exciting time, and I owe a lot of my newfound inspiration to the success of my Women In Travel Summit (WITS 2015) attendance. 

As I mentioned back in March, one of my goals for 2015 was to embark upon a series of travel- based discoveries to share with my readers and expand my reach to inspire other women who write and yearn to make distance. Well, mission definitely accomplished with the Boston WITS 2015 adventure! It took a lot of perseverance and planning, and I made some great networking connections that proved to be a worthy investment in my understanding of what makes the whole experience of being a woman on the move. I learned that we women who mean to take on the great wide world, going to far-flung places, often alone, really have to toughen up, in more ways than one.

I was especially excited when I first signed up for WITS 2015 and saw the sponsor list.

It was a veritable who's who of travel industry service providers: luggage, photography, booking agents, destinations, insurance providers and, of course, toiletries. Since I try to walk a rather sturdy line of practical and fun when it comes to packing up to go, I loved that there were so many useful demos and promotions going on at the conference.

One of the more unexpected sponsors was Corning® Gorilla® Glass. I knew of Corning Incorporated from my childhood; my mother's collection of durable, simple and elegant dishware, and later by making friends with my first college roommate who hailed from a nearby town in Upstate New York, Watkins Glen. I had connections to Corning that I never knew would take me this far. 

I was interested to see the presentation at our Saturday lunch, of which Corning was the supplier. It turns out that well-known glassmaker Corning was introducing their newest technology, Gorilla Glass 4, and its very valuable usage for all the travel bloggers in the room. I leaned forward, because, I subscribe to the club of anxious excitable manipulators of new technology. My poor battered-yet-functional digital SLR camera can attest to that! How many times have I dropped my phone trying to take an impossibly angled shot, and held my breath as I gingerly approach said phone, looking for signs of distress? Did I buy the monthly insurance, or was I feeling cheap two years back when I signed up (darn it)?! My recent exposure to the world of smartphones further solidified my adherence to modern standards of communication: instant talk, instant text, real-time emails with picture attachments, uploads galore, etc. 

I was determined to avoid the dreaded spiderweb cracks that plagued so many phones. Not me! I made it to Boston, secured my first-ever AirBnb reservation, and now I was in upgrade mode. How excited was I to learn that I was already reaping the benefits of Corning Gorilla Glass in my Samsung Galaxy S4? Gorilla Glass 4 has been making headlines over the past few years. For sure, and for good reason. It is in almost every new electronic device on the market: smartphones, tablets, notebooks and more. 

Why is Gorilla Glass becoming so popular? Because with Gorilla Glass 4, we now have Corning's toughest cover glass yet for all our everyday devices used. This is significant! 

During WITS 2015, Lisa Noni, the Senior Development Scientist at Corning Incorporated did a very thorough presentation of Gorilla Glass 4's durability, showing that it performs up to two times better than competitive glass designs in devices dropped from 3 feet high. She highlighted that for travelers and writers like myself, it was very important to have adequate protection for our devices that take pictures, record our thoughts, and generally keep us going. I appreciated that Ms. Noni went so far as to focus on the value of quality materials and components that went into the creation of Gorilla Glass 4. 

Corning created a glass screen that is more scratch resistant than most of the plastic screens on cell phones prior to 2007, yet is also lightweight for the thinnest of hand-held devices, and more resistant to sharp contact damage on rough surfaces. The first simulation used a tumbler which included a sample of Gorilla Glass 4, standard industry soda lime glass (used in about 40% of smartphones in China- large population), and hard bulky objects like a brush, keys, and a guidebook. As Ms. Noni demonstrated with simulated damage with a mini lever press test and applied pressure from 20 to 100 lbs, Gorilla Glass 4 withstood a higher damage resistance compared to soda-lime device glass covers, even with a surface pre-abraded with sandpaper. I could envision this scenario when I accidentally bury my phone at the bottom of my suitcase, which then inevitably gets tossed into the trunk of a car or bus rack. It looked to me like I could rely on Gorilla Glass 4 being there to help withstand that mishap. 

I was able to test the value of Gorilla Glass firsthand when I participated in the 4th Annual Brooklyn Bike The Branches tour on May 9th. Fast forwarding almost two months from the WITS conference, I got involved in this very physical challenge to ride all around Brooklyn with thousands of other bikers, attempting to reach as many of the 60 Brooklyn Public Library branches in the 8 hours allotted.  There I go:

The day started well enough, overcast and cool; not too hot. However, about an hour into my tour and already getting lost trying to find my next location, the rain starts coming down pretty heavily, making it difficult to see and keep a good grip on my handlebars and not slip my sneakers off the pedals. It goes on like this for several hours, as I meet up with other riders and we band together throughout the city, getting our library passports stamped. Here's a daring, yet well-orchestrated shot of my fellow bike-companion, taken with my tough yet durable Samsung smartphone with Gorilla Glass. Check to see if Gorilla Glass is on your device here!

All was well and good, and hours later I approached the end of the tour which was to culminate at the Central Library at Grand Army Plaza. 

Then, with two library stops left, I did the inevitable miscalculation of my speed and level of anxiety while attempting to jump the curb on a road bike (Note: skinny smooth wheels, very little tread); bad angle + bad execution of curb hop= total handlebar wipeout. The result is this lovely photo:

I must admit, this is a very awesome vantage point, one I didn't think was possible as I became airborne and slammed my (thankfully) helmeted head into the sidewalk. Somehow, my smartphone took a very smart photo, and managed not even a scrape as we both clattered to the ground! I was stunned for a while, and definitely scraped and bruised, but my phone was solid. 

I can honestly attest to the quality of Gorilla Glass. In the demonstration at WITS 2015 and in my own altercation with a Brooklyn sidewalk, Corning Gorilla Glass 4 helped protect the scrapes and bumps of everyday life. 

In my little accident, I learned how to be prepared for the worst by wearing a helmet and giving myself time to recover before hopping back on that bike. This is what we traveling WITS women do, toughen up and get out there, not being scared of a shortfall, but always pushing forward to the next level of development and success. Definitely "tough, yet beautiful". I look forward to purchasing and using more devices featuring the added protection of Gorilla Glass 4.

This blog post was sponsored by Corning Incorporated. I received compensation for writing this review, but all opinions are completely my own. I stand by my statements.