The Gospel of The Unbothered

It has been along and eventful four months, y'all.

Several eras have ended and trials hung. The world as we know it is on the verge of anarchy or renaissaince, depending on whom you converse with. Seven years is a mighty long time to have come around to the spot where I now find myself.

Much can be said about the meme above that a Facebook friend so lovingly fashioned from a photo my cousin so artfully took of me. Some sayings that come to mind are: "No me molesta", #worryaboutyoself, "Next".

I'll tell you this: I said at the beginning of 2016 that it would be a #yearoftravel, and that I would not see the year end in my current field of work. Done and done.

 I am proud to say that last Wednesday was my final day at my place of employment for the past three years. I learned a lot at that job: how (and when) to ask for what I want without fear, because I know how valuable I am and what I deserve; how to make managerial procedures for those that will come after me (basically leave things better than I met them); how to be assertive in the face of micromanagement; how to deliver for clients with my head held high, with confident resolve twinkling in my eye; how to know when it is time to have difficult talks; how to be patient. Oh, Goddess, how to be patient!

I left friends there, people I intend to keep in contact with and meet again in a more relaxed and honest environment. I don't like to burn bridges, and understand the supreme value of making and maintaining connections.

Regardless of what specific events capitalutated me to the decision I made to leave, the general idea I had upon entering my last job was that it would be temporary, not a career, but a goal post of sorts. Life always has other plans for us, of course, and every now and then requires us to be honest and self-reflective about the choice we have and will make, especially as it pertains directly to our well-being, mental, physical and economic futures. Its that "adulting" thing that keeps popping up in various forms.

To recap a bit:
1- I went to my first Caribbean island (for more than a layover transfer) in January, even survived being stranded an extra two days with my sister, and learned the value, generosity, and resourcefulness of the #familybychoice Tribe. Thank you Nomadness! Thank you bestie!
2- I won tickets through application for and in support of She's Wanderful, making it for the second year in a row to the WITS (Women In Travel) 2016 conference in Irvine, California in March. I figured out how to get around in a vast and convoluted (read: Not pedestrian-friendly) set of transportation systems between Los Angeles and that city, meeting some great ladies via carpool. I made the commitment then and there to make sure that I can stay involved with this group, and will be going to the WITS 2017 conference in Milwaukee, whatever it takes.
3- Through friendship and targeted determination, I placed myself in the midst of a destination wedding (my first ever) with a group of flight attendants in Antigua, Guatemala in April. We shared lovely rooms at a villa, swatted mosquitoes, bartered with colorfully dressed women in the town square, shared meals and witnessed love amid ancient ruins. We also climbed a live volcano that last erupted in 2014. I have never felt so welcome amongst a group of virtual strangers that I still connect to months later!
4- July was a brief yet satisfying jaunt up north to Montreal, to see my cousin and her growing family, to ride the city on its superb bicycle lanes, zone out in a Scandinavian Spa, and to take in some jazz music at the annual festival. I also scored a flight voucher for a return visit, through fortuitous circumstances (getting really good at this travel game).
5- I started delving into my music and singing project that has long been ignored, being more acclimated to raising my voice in the bowels of the New York City subway, and open to connecting with people that want to collaborate, and create. I'm that much closer to having a finished piece that I composed, arranged, wrote and sang myself!
6- I let myself say yes more. I was more open to crazy possibilities, and am currently reaping the rewards of that courage and resolve. Thank you, Kenna for the influence of #YearofYesManifest, and Catrice for being a consistent guiding light in unleashing my own significance!
7- I refuse to let other people put the fear of the unknown in front of my dreams any more. This has come from well-meaning friends, relatives, even people I've just been introduced to who have their set opinions wrapped around them in a comfortable cloak of authority and experience with the familiar. They don't live my life. They have not made my sacrifices and deferrals, and they won't have to face the consequences of regret. #worryaboutyourself.

The point of all this is to say that as many things that have gone wrong this year, that I, myself and so many others would love to press a "redo" button, or black out this whole year from their personal history accounts, I have much to be thankful for and excited about.

I am reaching out into unknown territory, and finding my voice is not as rusty as I thought, my wit is still sharp and focused, my resolve, thought latent for so long, is as stubborn as ever. My imagination and creative spirit has not deserted me under fluorescent lighting. I can still run and lift weights with my back and hips the way they are, and I still got the rhythm of my ancestors (20% Dahomey, #blackamazonian, indeed!).

I am #unbothered and I am #seldom_settled. Bring it, 2017!

Directions for a South American Girl: Northeastern Seaboard, West Coast Shenanigans!

Hey Ladies (and receptive Gents), a little call and response, if you please: can your life change for the better in five days? (YES, constellations and caverns, YES!)

Why the exclamations? Because I've been basking in the glow and delving in the deep thinking about WITS16. Hotel Irvine is a beautiful citrus oasis of a hotel, amenities abounding in scents, eats, and the sensory delights of an outdoor pool, hot tub and fire pit. This alone made the trip worthwhile, and I very much appreciated my vitamin D boost, compared to the New York weather I left behind.

As I relived the lessons learned that sun-drenched weekend in California, Dr. Seuss' Oh, The Places You'll Go! popped back up in my memory. I realized that my childhood joy for going out yonder (back then, mostly by Greyhound Bus) has not been snuffed out by all the adulting I've been doing for the past 25 years.

In fact, in many ways my most recent journey was a full spiral revolution from travels as my earlier young adult self, going west on my own for the first time, before an even further flight to the other end of this earth. It had been 14 years since I saw California, the Pacific Ocean, the smog, the street art, the seashells of  that sunnier edge. The truth of the matter is that as hesitantly as I've waded into these waters, I am ready to fully accept that I am a writer, a BLOGGER, I met my people at WITS, and I am ready to dive into this supportive and adventurous community!

I was determined to get to WITS16 this year, after having such an eye-opening experience last year in Boston. I also knew that my budget was rather tight and I would have to flex my solo traveler muscles...using public transportation in SoCal! Suffice it to say, after posing several versions of this predicament in my Facebook travel groups, the feedback was unanimous that Los Angeles and Irvine were not known for having a smooth transit system. It was not impossible, but it would take ingenuity, careful time considerations and the kindness of strangers.

Cue the dramatic interlude, a la A Streetcar Named Desire:




So, yes, I pulled up several internet tabs cross-referencing Google Maps, all of the Los Angeles County public transportation information sources, plus Travelmath (which failed to include all of the train and rail options, ahem!) to figure out how I was going to get to the conference every day from L.A. to Irvine (separate systems, separate bus and train fares). My backup plan, however, was more ambitious: make friends on Facebook and Twitter and create authentic connections to people that were already driving to the conference. I will tell you that this strategy was very valuable, as it got folks engaged in my journey "on foot", and provided a support system of advice on how to get around, and what other people were doing outside of the scheduled events. The best of both worlds was finding fellow attendees to commiserate with, swap stories and network for future collaborations!

Wheeling and Dealing...

That Uber ride from LAX to Irvine was everything. I stayed close to and swapped contact information with dynamic women all weekend, starting with that first cab ride.

From day one, I mustered up my nerve and stepped forward at the Networking Without Pants (don't ask me, I didn't come up with it) meet and greet, where all the ladies in the house had a chance walk up to the stage to answer three questions:
1-What do I want to learn?
2- What can I give/offer?
3- Who do I want to meet?

I know that I want to streamline by brand, my public image, and identify and tailor to my audience (you!). I can offer guest posts on several topics that I tend to focus on, including: foodie; gardening and travel-related adventures in nature; sustainable fashion; and, most importantly, spotlight articles on interesting and pioneering women. I know that I offer a unique perspective on life in the U.S. of A, being an immigrant from childhood, and having several passport stamps under my belt by the time I was six years old! I definitely accomplished meeting amazingly energetic and fearless women from all ends of the travel industry, and look forward to learning from (and traveling with) them going forward. My takeaway from this exercise was that networking is not about quantity. I had to get out of my shell a bit and take a deep breath, commit to having a conversation and engage. and don't be afraid to make "the ask" at the end, but also know when to walk away and wrap it up.

I also have a somewhat stubborn streak in me at times, when I do have my vision set, I want to see it come to fruition. Even if it means I embark upon a (crazy) long public bus-ride from Los Angeles to Laguna Beach! I do it for me, but I do it for you, too, so watch out for my next post on the getting there no matter what!